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Shut up, Science Luther! It’s a kid’s show! Okay.

This means that she was already somehow ten million years old before that explosion, and therefore the oldest living thing on Earth, exceeded possibly only by the other immortal velociraptor, and is therefore…īut that’s Science Luther talking.

Velociraptors died out ten million years before the Chicxulub impact.

Cassowaries are considerably scarier-looking. If you saw one today, you’d think “Ooh, what a weird-looking bird!”.

Velociraptors were the size of turkeys and had feathers.

You literally see the two velociraptors diving into a cave during the meteor strike. She is, in fact, a velociraptor! A velociraptor who somehow avoided dying in the Chicxulub impact and “evolved” to be able to turn into a human being. The lady tells them that she is, herself, a dinosaur.They meet this old lady, whose name I can never remember, and she tells them they can turn into dinosaurs.So far, I’m OK! This is basically Daredevil’s origin, right? Spider-Man got bitten by a radioactive spider. They discover it has given them the ability to turn into dinosaurs. A bunch of kids (high school students, old enough to drive motorcycles) go to the beach and get covered in ooze.So let me just lay this show out for you, and you tell me exactly when it gets to be too much.

My disbelief is suspended from the firmament itself most of the time, but this show still breaks the hell out of it. There are expensive superhero statues in the room with me and action figures on my desk. I understand that complaining about suspension of disbelief and scientific inaccuracy in a kids’ show is a mug’s game.

You didn’t click that, so here are the lyrics: